Being of Service: Why Helping Others Helps Us Too

One of my moments of feeling most alive happened when I was volunteering. As a newly minted professional, I had signed up to cuddle premature infants at Hartford Hospital’s neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). I would head over there after work in my suit, scrub up at the sink for what felt like an insanely long time, and settle into my two-hour shift. I’ll never forget one infant named Caleb whom I had the privilege to cuddle for three shifts before I never saw him again. There was something about the time with him that touched me deeply. His presence had a sweet, calm timeless quality that is difficult to explain. The feeling of love and tenderness was omnipresent. Holding Caleb and other tiny infants grounded me in a powerful way. 

When I mentioned to my Mom that I was volunteering at the hospital’s NICU, she gasped and said, “Do you recall that I was a premature infant for many weeks at that same hospital?” I’d completely forgotten this fact and was awed by what seemed like a very special coincidence. 

I’ve been reflecting on how much of our energy goes into managing our own thoughts, worries and endless ‘to-do’ lists. And I’ve noticed something: Whenever I intentionally step out of my own head and turn toward being of service to others, everything shifts.

It’s not just a “feel good” moment. Research backs this up: studies from the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley show that people who regularly engage in acts of service report 24% lower rates of depression and a 19% increase in life satisfaction. Even small acts, such as helping a neighbor, a mentoring conversation, a networking chat or volunteering an hour of our time, can reset our perspective in powerful ways.

Think about it: how much time do you spend circling around your own inner dialogue each day? The average person has over 6,000 thoughts per day, according to a 2020 study published in Nature Communications. When many of those thoughts lean toward stress, self-criticism or things we cannot control, it’s easy to feel weighed down. Service is one valuable way out of that loop and can shift our mindset toward possibilities and optimism. It’s like stepping outside of the echo chamber in your head and simultaneously widening the lens to let in more light.

I’ve seen this play out in professional settings too. Teams that encourage peer support and mentoring – whether formal or informal – not only create stronger bonds but also perform better. Gallup research shows that employees who feel they have a strong sense of community at work are seven times more likely to be engaged. Service, in this context, isn’t just about volunteering, but about showing up for colleagues, sharing knowledge generously and taking time to actively listen and care about others. It’s ultimately about fostering environments where people can thrive.

And on a relational level, being of service builds community, which can sometimes feel harder to find as adults. Surveys by Cigna show that over 58% of adults in the U.S. feel lonely on a regular basis and making new friends outside of established circles can feel daunting. Case-in-point: When I was a new Mom, a friend told me, “Just wait. You’ll soon find that your adult relationships revolve around other parents whose kids know your kids.” I remember thinking that could be nice, but also limiting, and well, stifling. Service provides a bridge. Whether through volunteering, joining a cause or simply offering your time and presence, you step into spaces where authentic connections can naturally emerge.

So the next time you catch yourself overthinking or feeling isolated, ask: Where could I be of service today? It doesn’t have to be big. Sometimes it’s sending that supportive text, being genuinely curious about what another is feeling or experiencing and lending an empathetic ear.

Because here’s the truth: service doesn’t just help others, it brings us back to balance, grounds us in community and enables us to contribute to – and touch – something larger than ourselves. It gives our lives meaning beyond the realities of day-to-day work deadlines, personal obligations, and of  course, that inevitable mental chatter.