Living and Leading with Intention

Many of us go through the weeks with a binary focus: All the things we 1) NEED to do during the workweek and then, thankfully, 2) GET to do over the weekend. Holding this obligation-laden outlook can be draining and limiting in a host of ways. For example, it can lead to its own special brand of drudgery and inertia that can hang around as a big part of our internal climate for, well, years.

How can we wake up and see that we’ve become stuck entertaining such negative thoughts and less healthy ways of being? How can we shed these ‘unwanted house guests,’ reclaim what’s ours to do – in and beyond our vocation – and experience more joy?

Personal Philosophy as the Foundation

We each have an opportunity to establish a personal philosophy that shapes how we approach life and care for ourselves. As we live into this philosophy and continue to learn and grow, we can choose to evolve it over time and support our capacity to bring our best selves into the world.

To set a personal philosophy, it helps to know and be ready to ‘own’ your top values. Your values are what is most important to you and shape how you live and lead, including how others experience you and your impact. 

It’s also vital to objectively understand the personality patterns that can hold you back, keep you stuck or bring you to a place of fear or negativity. Arguably, this deep and ongoing work of leading self is a powerful gift that only we can give ourselves – and one that keeps on giving. 

One effective way to identify such stubborn and problematic patterns is to journal on the following questions: 

💬 What have I had to learn and relearn time and again? 

💬 What’s the root cause of this?

Self-reflections like this, as well as intentionally observing yourself in daily life and ‘catching yourself in the act’ around patterns of mindset and behavior you would like to shift (i.e., self-observation), are powerful and accessible tools for each of us. Additionally, opening up to and talking with those who know you well and/or with a coach, mentor or therapist about what you’re seeing and learning about yourself can be a valuable way to catalyze deeper insight, growth and accountability. 

Practices for Nourishment and Insight

As a complement to self-reflection and observation, committing to certain practices that are targeted to your unique development needs can pave the way for sustainable growth. A practice is a recurring behavior for building competence. It’s done for a specific reason and way for a certain amount of time. 

Let’s explore some examples of desired behavior shifts and potentially supportive practices: 

🪡 A leader who is looking to increase engagement from and sense of ownership amongst their team members may establish a practice of inviting others’ views, listening actively and sharing their opinions last. 

🪡 A person who is looking to become more present and grounded may establish a practice of daily walks in nature, body scanning or meditation. An individual who is looking to cultivate more self-acceptance might establish a morning ritual to honor special qualities in oneself. 

🪡 One who wants to connect with their creativity may take up a hobby they abandoned in their youth (e.g., singing, dancing, writing, painting). 

🪡 Someone who wishes to find community or give back more to others may find a local group aligned with their values and join and/or serve them. 

The needs are many, the examples are vast.

Personal commitment, openness and accountability are key to enabling long-lasting positive change. Another special aspect of engaging in practices is allowing the experience to affect you and shape your future actions. 

➡️ After engaging in practices relevant for you, ask yourself, “How will I take what I’ve learned from this practice forward into my life?” 

Day-to-Day Life as a Learning Lab

Some see daily life as a series of challenges, drudgery or at worst, a battle. My invitation is to see the day-to-day as a learning lab for experimentation, illumination and growth. Inherent in this perpetual learning environment are a few fundamental things, including obstacles and insights, joys and wins, losses and sorrows. Accepting this duality as reality can allow us to open to all that our experiences in the world can teach and provide us. 

✨ Here’s another special angle to consider – some might even call it a bonus: 

Over time your self-development efforts, including embracing the world as a learning lab, may change how others experience you. Recognize that not everyone may be comfortable with how you begin showing up and change, as our patterns can be long and deep. Be ready for this. 

As you stay true to what is right for you and to your intentions, see if you can be empathetic toward others as needed and stand in your truth in new ways (e.g., active listening, transparent communication, boundaries). Your relationship with yourself and with others may – or could eventually – flourish in ways both expected and surprising. Simultaneously, you may find it becomes easier to take a temporary – or more permanent – break from those whose energy and patterns no longer support you.

-Jan Turner